anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
I understand how you feel. I have a huge flist, and I don't use filters to read it. There are so many people I don't feel any connection to. It's very strange that they even want to stay on my flist, if they've never even said so much as a hello. ^_~
Did a poll once for the f-list asking if peeps were reading etc. and I was surprised that there were *quite* a few lurkers who didn't comment.

Your flist is MASSIVE and I have no idea how you cope. I remember I once got to 250 peeps or so and I just stopped commenting cause there were just too many posts to read. And I skimmed a lot *sigh*

I wish friending required people to at least write a one liner saying at least "luv your iconz, moar plz" or something so we know that ok, not completely random empty ljs that may or may not be stalkers..
- (Anonymous)
I'll pretty much friend anyone back if they have similar interests and we've exchanged a few comments - which makes it likely we'll get on, and I'll find their LJ interesting enough to comment on every now and then - but I find it pretty bizarre when people with bare LJs, who I've never had any interaction with, just friend me out of the blue. They don't get friended back, heh. That's just wierd.

Popcorn! Salt or sweet? :)
That happens to me a lot and I ignore them too. I've been getting a lot of those in the last few months and I find them really freaky. Just had one today in fact. *sighs* I really hate that.

That's pretty much my policy, too. I'm all about the connections - I've met so many awesome people online, and I've even managed to meet and hang out with a few in real life. :)
Yeah, exactly! I feel guilty 'cause there are a couple of people who do comment once in a month or two but we've never really gotten to commenting back and forth yet - or their lj has things which I don't read. So unless I'm feeling a connection, I'm not going to do anything.

(Then there are the peeps who I probably should have friended a while ago but have managed to miss for some reason *sigh*)
I got into the habit of friending just to track fandom/fic/whatever, mostly 'cos I'm lazy - and it's so much easier to 'be updated' just by scrolling down my flist.

I'm a notorious lurker as well, so - it's alright with me if you choose not to friend back. :)
You are so me when I started LJ! I actually didn't even care about the f-list - to me it was just a reading list to keep track of the shiny. I never expected it to become something more. Kinda scary that way...
I don't really expect ppl to comment on my LJ (I'm usually kind of o.O when they do on some of them, actually) but I do expect to have at least some kind of connection, as you mentioned. A lot of the more recent ones have been really strange - either blank journals or people who I wonder where the hell they found me as it appears there are no common interests. I used to friend back but then found that they didn't update their journals and didn't bother to connect with me at all so I defriended them and don't bother any more unless they do try to connect with me in some way. (friends-only announcement posts are awesome that way...)

It just always surprises me that people aren't courteous enough to try to read the userinfo - I always do, just to see if anyone even remotely has the same sorts of interests... I don't really like huge friends-lists tho and wish I could cut down, but most of the current friends I have I either know personally (as in real life) or have connected with on communities or other peoples' LJs and get on with well enough to try to stay friends with them. (for the most part) There are still a few who I would defriend if not for their drama queen antics that having been thru totally unnecessary personal drama recently, I just don't want to get into that right now.

(sorry for the long comment but I do have a strong interest in this sort of thing *sheepish*)
I've come to realise that even if I do share interests with peeps (which is rather often, 'cause hello, multi-fandom XD) it's still possible that we'll never communicate.

And I think I've taken a "Bitch, I will cut you!!1!" approach to drama queens. RL keeps me busy enough - don't need more on LJ and there's really no reason I need to put up with it. The only thing preventing me from defriending those kinds of peeps is really just me. And while they might hate my guts, in the long run it'll be better for both parties.
I do lurk a lot with authors and artists because of shy (believe it or not) but at the same time if I feel you're approchable I comment a lot and actually have to pull back. I'm sorry if I seem like a comment ho! I'm really trying not to comment on each and every one of your posts. =/

I just finished The Official Autobiography by HP and when I read his opening paragraph I was like *sporfle* I WRITE LIKE HARRY POTTER. *dies*
There are one or two people who intimidate me like hell and whenever I keep there are typos and I'm always afraid my opinion will get misunderstood or dismissed. It's easier just to lurk on some ljs.

I'm sorry if I seem like a comment ho! I'm really trying not to comment on each and every one of your posts. =/

It's fine XD Since most peeps don't, I'm not really drowning under comments in that way hahaha Don't be afraid to holler which your thoughts whenever. The worst that can happen is that I can fail to respond (which can happen when I get distracted by shiny)

Man, need to catch up :O
I changed my friending policy last year because I would get friended by people who would then defriend me after maybe a month or two, and it was annoying to go through that whole friending-unfriending dance. If people ask to be friended, I always friend back, but otherwise I assume they're just there to lurk. But, I don't filter any personal journals out (Just communities), either. I just like having a big flist. Sometimes when I'm at work and it gets slow, I wish it was bigger. XD
Oh, I hate when that happens - nowaday, if I stumble on an lj and don't necessarily feel an immediate connection, I'll track the posts for a while and see. If I find myself connecting with the posts I'll friend. I find that less stressful than friending and defriending.

There are times when I do wish it was bigger but just as often I'm relieved that I can sort of keep up with posts now...
i don't usually post personal things on my lj. it's basically just so that i can participate in the hp fandom (and the naruto fandom on occasion) and post my fics, some of which are really old and kinda embarrassing. *laughs*

i get a lot of "friend me" requests from blank journals--people who want to read my fics, which are all f-locked since the slash through--and it's kinda weird, but oh well! i don't check my friends page very often, i just have a bunch of sites in my memory or on delicious that i check every so often. i think if i wanted to start using my friends page the way that other people do, i'd have to put all my fics on a community, which would be such a pain...

might have to some day, though. i feel bad about some people that i've lost touch with over the years, from not commenting. and i love checking lj's like yours, which are active and have interesting posts about various things.

but there's just something about the online world that makes it impossible for me to prioritize it above things in RL. like... i love writing fanfiction, but i don't know if i want to continue doing it if it means that i won't have enough time for my own creative writing. and the job that i just applied for and will loooove. and my bf, who's sooo compu-tarded and doesn't understand what i'm doing staring at the computer screen for hours on end ^_^
Lurker here! *waves* Don't worry about friending me back, I tend to do that random friending thing that freaks some people out... if you look interesting, you get friended. I don't expect to be friended back right away, or even ever. I just like reading your posts. And you're pretty much a gold mine for recs, fandom or otherwise. Thanks! :)
I started out lurking, but I'm trying to get into the habit of commenting on my f-list's posts. I read all of them, and I usually have something to say (especially on discussion/fandom posts, which is why I love your journal :D), but most of the time I'm too lazy to articulate my thoughts and organise them into something coherent enough to post *_*

As for RL posts, I'm generally really public about my personal life, so I don't have that many f-locked posts. The only ones I hide from the public are the ones that are exceptionally whiny or contain questionable content :P
I am the queen of lurking. Sorry about that. I tend to read much MUCH more than I comment, although I have a few people that I talk to on a regular basis. Mostly my LJ is just for reading my f-list. I'm a big Harry/Draco reader (but not so big a commenter). Also, no comp of my own right now, so commenting is sometimes a problem when I have no privacy! (geez, how's a girl supposed to read the pr0n around here?!) :p

You are a waterfall of info m'dear! And H/D is my OTP, so it was bound to happen that I'd friend you. :p
I friended you because your posts are always chocked full o' good information about the fandoms that I love. I don't expect you to friend me back. BTW, keep up with the good work. :)
Hey, I friended 'cause I'm interested. People who get upset about others not friending back should probably evaluate their self-esteem and general sense of contentment?

Apathy is a wonderful thing! We don't have to care about the entire world, and we don't have to friend them back. Life will go on. Even if someone gets bitchy, ignore and life will still go on. \o/
I had my comment all typed up and ready to post and then accidentally closed out my browser window. But basically, I was going to agree with you. Especially about feeling like there's a connection. That's really important when I'm deciding if to friend someone.