anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
I have a totally laid back friending "policy."

"I'll friend whomever I want. Ya'll are welcome to do the same."

I never understood this, "U MUST FRIENDZ ME BAAAAAAAACK," so on and so forth. I friend whom I like to read so that I can read them. People are welcome to trust me enough to do the same or don't.

I comment when I am moved to, generally, and keep it at that. Everybody's going to do their thang in the way that makes them happy.
*waves* Hi! Um, I friended you a few weeks ago because I came across a link to your reviews of fics, which I find really interesting and helpful by the way! I guess you could call me a lurker. Don't worry about friending me back, there are no hard feelings! My flist basically serves as a reading list right now anyway:]
- Chance
I used to friend everyone who added me because I thought I had to, like you do me a favour and I'll return it. Now I know better. I have no obligation to friend every single person back. My f-list is small, compared to some but it still feels quite big to me and I don't even know half of those on it as well as I wanted to.

It's hard to find someone who connects, even rarer to find that person who share so much more than just common interests. I may sound cheesy or cliche when I say this, but I really appreciate being able to find a person that connects with me.
amen sister.

i friended you coz i think you're a really awesome picture, and i enjoy what you do and write. i don't mind if you dont friend me back, but if you ever do i'd be happy. either way, it's cool--i just enjoy reading what you have to say. :)
LOL, my filters are people, community, and feeds. LOL.
When I don't have time I read people filter.

I'm pretty new to LJ, and I don't have a massive f-list (yet =P), but my stance would probably be the same as yours. Well, maybe not the fandom part, but I'd only friend someone if I felt a connection or I'm interested in what they have to say.

That said, I don't feel insulted if someone doesn't friend me back. 'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return ~ Moulin Rouge'
Well, at least I got the first part right. XP
i friended you because i want to get to know u more because i love the fandoms ur in. i totally understand what you mean, i really dont expect to get friended back, im more of a lurker anyways lol

I kind of view my flist as a reading list so if the people I friend don't friend me back, I'm fine because I'm interested in what they're posting about.

Plus, LJ is something I check every day (obsessed? never) I tend to lurk in basically everywhere else.
It's a shame people have done horrible things to you after you have friended them.

Luckily for me the only realy damage someone has inflicted is mass hotlinking and I just moved my images and that was the end of it.

I find it so annoying when people use private information about you against you, especially on an online service where you can do all types of things to keep anonymous.

It's a shame really.
I'm a lurker as well and I've found it hard to find people who I can really sit back and chat with. Fandom is helping though, most of all people who aren't about the drama but are about having fun and being fangirls. Also, the pretty fan art helps. I've got a small friends list now but if you'd checked out my profile two years ago, there were at least 200 people on there, now I've discovered the joy of RSS and it's gone down big time.
I've turned into one big lurker but I still enjoy your posts and SQUEES! And you take me back to when I watched Robotech every day. *sigh... Lancer* You also got me into the last Air Bender show. =D
Haha, I understand where you are coming from:)

As far as friending goes as long as you put some of your posts unlocked I heart you! I love reading your reviews and stuff!
Hear, hear!
I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back.

Oops! (edited) :P

Edited at 2008-05-09 08:41 pm (UTC)
Hello! I'm actually using one of your awesome codes for my layout, as a matter of fact you helped me fix it a few days ago. Anyway, I'm friending you and I would love it if you friended me back. Either way, I'm just letting ya know I friended you so you don't think I'm some random stalker commenting on your entries. :)
Awww so should I be totally honoured?! (now I keep imagining spreading my arms and saying 'Here I am, come to my embrace! Glad to find you!!' :D)

Actually I am, since there are bunch of people stalking your journal, and you friended me after short 'knowing', and well, I'm not sure your mind went spazzy about me...:P

I am really glad I can see your flocked posts because every day when I check my RSS and flist I'm looking forward seeing what new you got...;)

While I, err, post rarely on this journal...