anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
I understand how you feel. I have a huge flist, and I don't use filters to read it. There are so many people I don't feel any connection to. It's very strange that they even want to stay on my flist, if they've never even said so much as a hello. ^_~
Did a poll once for the f-list asking if peeps were reading etc. and I was surprised that there were *quite* a few lurkers who didn't comment.

Your flist is MASSIVE and I have no idea how you cope. I remember I once got to 250 peeps or so and I just stopped commenting cause there were just too many posts to read. And I skimmed a lot *sigh*

I wish friending required people to at least write a one liner saying at least "luv your iconz, moar plz" or something so we know that ok, not completely random empty ljs that may or may not be stalkers..
Actually, you never know even about the people who do comment. I discovered someone who defriended me was watching my LJ with a sockpuppet. She made a mistake and posted in that LJ with her main account. She had a fake identity and made up a few posts so the LJ wouldn't be empty.

That's why you will almost never see me posting really personal stuff in my LJ. ^_~
I know one person on my flist with dual accounts, the one used being an lj for the slash - but yeah, get what you mean.

If I posted about RL, this lj would be under lockdown, period. I have no interest in airing stuff that private in public.