anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
I don't really expect ppl to comment on my LJ (I'm usually kind of o.O when they do on some of them, actually) but I do expect to have at least some kind of connection, as you mentioned. A lot of the more recent ones have been really strange - either blank journals or people who I wonder where the hell they found me as it appears there are no common interests. I used to friend back but then found that they didn't update their journals and didn't bother to connect with me at all so I defriended them and don't bother any more unless they do try to connect with me in some way. (friends-only announcement posts are awesome that way...)

It just always surprises me that people aren't courteous enough to try to read the userinfo - I always do, just to see if anyone even remotely has the same sorts of interests... I don't really like huge friends-lists tho and wish I could cut down, but most of the current friends I have I either know personally (as in real life) or have connected with on communities or other peoples' LJs and get on with well enough to try to stay friends with them. (for the most part) There are still a few who I would defriend if not for their drama queen antics that having been thru totally unnecessary personal drama recently, I just don't want to get into that right now.

(sorry for the long comment but I do have a strong interest in this sort of thing *sheepish*)
I've come to realise that even if I do share interests with peeps (which is rather often, 'cause hello, multi-fandom XD) it's still possible that we'll never communicate.

And I think I've taken a "Bitch, I will cut you!!1!" approach to drama queens. RL keeps me busy enough - don't need more on LJ and there's really no reason I need to put up with it. The only thing preventing me from defriending those kinds of peeps is really just me. And while they might hate my guts, in the long run it'll be better for both parties.
*nods* I'm in (and out) of several fandoms myself so I understand. I've got a few friends in fandoms that I no longer participate in who are still friends, but quite a few more I haven't spoken to and defriended a long time ago, and it's kind of sad to notice that a few of these ppl never even noticed. (they still have me friended, for one thing...)

That makes sense. I shouldn't really put up with it either, but my friends tell me I'm too sensitive and soft for my own good. (and I know they're right...*sheepish*) I know the latest issue was good for me in that this person had been causing me a LOT of stress (even tho she claimed to be a friend) and it was just basically the impetus I needed to get her off my flist. (tho honestly, she defriended me first - it just seemed she waited until she knew I wasn't going to be around so she could say she did it first, that's the type of person she can be) Things have been a lot better without her, tho it does make things awkward with mutual friends.