anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
*nods* I'm in (and out) of several fandoms myself so I understand. I've got a few friends in fandoms that I no longer participate in who are still friends, but quite a few more I haven't spoken to and defriended a long time ago, and it's kind of sad to notice that a few of these ppl never even noticed. (they still have me friended, for one thing...)

That makes sense. I shouldn't really put up with it either, but my friends tell me I'm too sensitive and soft for my own good. (and I know they're right...*sheepish*) I know the latest issue was good for me in that this person had been causing me a LOT of stress (even tho she claimed to be a friend) and it was just basically the impetus I needed to get her off my flist. (tho honestly, she defriended me first - it just seemed she waited until she knew I wasn't going to be around so she could say she did it first, that's the type of person she can be) Things have been a lot better without her, tho it does make things awkward with mutual friends.