anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
I changed my friending policy last year because I would get friended by people who would then defriend me after maybe a month or two, and it was annoying to go through that whole friending-unfriending dance. If people ask to be friended, I always friend back, but otherwise I assume they're just there to lurk. But, I don't filter any personal journals out (Just communities), either. I just like having a big flist. Sometimes when I'm at work and it gets slow, I wish it was bigger. XD
Oh, I hate when that happens - nowaday, if I stumble on an lj and don't necessarily feel an immediate connection, I'll track the posts for a while and see. If I find myself connecting with the posts I'll friend. I find that less stressful than friending and defriending.

There are times when I do wish it was bigger but just as often I'm relieved that I can sort of keep up with posts now...