anime - amatsuki - smile - summer


I may seem like a giant flake, but I don't do friendbacks unless I feel like I'm connecting like hell with a person and my mind kinda spazzes and goes "where have you been all my life?"

It's partly because I have been burned in the past wherein I'd friend people back and then since we never really talked in the first place, while I got into reading them, they disappeared, stopped commenting and it felt like an unrequited relationship. My f-list is actually pretty private now as a result. People are free to lurk, but friending me doesn't mean that I'll get around to friending back any time soon.

And you don't have to friend me - you can track posts, or do RSS feeds. If you feel hurt by my stance, you do have alternative options to friending.

I also think friending everyone whose been on the flist a while and filtering them out when I read the flist is a bigger insult than not friending them back. I want to be able to say that I read my flist and try to connect with the people. I connect mainly through fandom posts. I'm not going to friend/keep someone on if I'm not willing to give them at least that much attention.

I'm also someone who is normally a GIANT lurker. Participation in fandom things doesn't actually come normally. Three times in the past, I've tried to do a couple of big, awesome things - but in the end I flaked out, avoided commitments and then discovered it was too late. And yeah, I think of those things and I feel like the biggest asshat ever.

LJ is all about fandom for me - its something that I've needed but never had - ever since I was in middle school really. It's an outlet and even a bit of escapism from RL to just enjoy and share the love. I try to ignore wank apart from watching it while eating popcorn, 'cause that's not why I'm here. Truthfully, if LJ does become more drama than its worth, I know I'll probably log off one day and never come back. That's just me.

For now though, LJ is still a pretty awesome place :)
i don't usually post personal things on my lj. it's basically just so that i can participate in the hp fandom (and the naruto fandom on occasion) and post my fics, some of which are really old and kinda embarrassing. *laughs*

i get a lot of "friend me" requests from blank journals--people who want to read my fics, which are all f-locked since the slash through--and it's kinda weird, but oh well! i don't check my friends page very often, i just have a bunch of sites in my memory or on delicious that i check every so often. i think if i wanted to start using my friends page the way that other people do, i'd have to put all my fics on a community, which would be such a pain...

might have to some day, though. i feel bad about some people that i've lost touch with over the years, from not commenting. and i love checking lj's like yours, which are active and have interesting posts about various things.

but there's just something about the online world that makes it impossible for me to prioritize it above things in RL. like... i love writing fanfiction, but i don't know if i want to continue doing it if it means that i won't have enough time for my own creative writing. and the job that i just applied for and will loooove. and my bf, who's sooo compu-tarded and doesn't understand what i'm doing staring at the computer screen for hours on end ^_^