anime - amatsuki - smile - summer

Edit: norton_gale said it best, "My flist is a reading list, not a list of friends, though many of you do fit that description. So, if you ever want to stop reading my LJ, just go ahead and defriend. I may or may not keep you friended: it depends on your journal."

Yeah, that's my policy in a nutshell. For more detail, read bellow.

Why I may de-friend on LJ

[1] De-friending does not mean I hate/dislike you. 99% of the time it means I'm not reading your LJ. This may be because the majority of your lj's content consists of:
  • birthday wishes
  • memes
  • RL (for me LJ = primarily fandom)
  • fic posting or icon posting
  • a fandom I don't/no longer follow

Those are also the reasons I may spend a lot of time lurking on your lj - don't have much to contribute to the above esp if I didn't friend your lj initially for fic/icons.

It may also be 'cause we haven't been connecting much:
[2] We haven't commented on each other's ljs in a while (weeks/months)
[3] I have been skimming your posts

Whether I friend/defriend/do not friend your lj, you are always free to friend/defriend.

In many cases I may not have peeps listed as 'friends' but I still consider them to be seriously awesome.

How I use the 'friending' function on LJ
  • My flist is a reading list. I try not to keep anyone on it whose posts I end up skimming/skipping (and we don't connect via comments)
  • I will not keep you friended and filter you out because that just seems worse to me than defriending.
  • If we don't trade comments for weeks/months together, I will assume that we're skimming/skipping each others posts, are no longer connecting and may defriend.
  • If the majority of of our lj communication is spent with me commenting on your lj, I will assume you aren't all that interested in what I post and me keeping you on 'friend' status will depend on how interested I am in your lj posts.
  • If we (re)connect and I find myself reading your lj (again) in future, I will (re)friend you.

Everyone has their own way of doing things and this is mine.

Edit: On re-reading...*headdesk* Definitely suck at putting things into words :(
I'm the same way. Some of the people on my flist are or have become actual friends, but many are there because their journal has interesting content. I friend almost everyone back because my flist isn't unmanageable yet, but I will and have defriended for the endless posting of birthday wishes/memes. I usually wish people a happy birthday on their own LJ as to not take up a post.
I feel kind of sad to be de-friended because your journal is one of the best for obscure and original fic links plus just lots of links that make me smile... I love the graphic downloads and such and I know that you lock those after a while...

I totally understand, though. I'm really active in the "reading fic" part of fandom but hardly ever post or talk about my fandoms... and I think the only one we share anymore is Harry Potter... plus school has been so busy that I'm lucky to get time to myself at all...

I'll try to fill out your poll on friending stuff soon. :)
I don't think I've ever defriended anyone, mostly because I use filters to track wips, fandoms, RL friends, etc. Just keeping track of manga and anime updates would be too much without having filters.

I usually friend someone elses LJ initially to get access to locked posts, but many times come to enjoy the authors RL comments also.

For stuff I want to make sure to never miss, I set up tracking. I don't know how I'd keep up without the tracking function. It's the main reason I stay on LJ still and not as much on IJ (although they may have fixed their tracking/inbox function by now).

And I think your post if fine - it's good to be clear in your friending policy. I recently ran into a totally locked LJ that someone had rec'd a story for. There was no entry for me to leave a request to get access to the story, so I friended the LJ hoping to get some type of instructions/info on friending. Their profile had all types of awards, etc., but no alternate website for fics and no info there on friending either. At least she sent me a message asking about why I did it, but that was it. Never did get friended back, never did get the fic. Oh well, I guess I can live without it, but it's avoiding that type of confusion that makes your post here so valuable to everyone. It's very much appreciated.
Sounds sensible to me. I just recently defriended a bunch of people for those very reasons. Of course, people have defriended me for the same reasons and only because I don't post that much on LJ anymore. Ever since the whole LJ/SixApart fiasco over the summer, I've pulled up stakes and set up a home on Insanejournal. I keep my LJ active to keep up with those friends who don't have/don't want to have another blog, and some communities I still enjoy being a member of. I could probably RSS everything but there's no fun in that.
Hello! I discovered you through one of those lj friends of a friend... I've never come across a journal so packed full of useful information. Thank you for taking the time to post all this neat stuff.

I'm an extremely novice icon maker at best, plus I'm old with old eyes. ;) I've recently entered the exciting world of twiddling around in premade layout CSS, tweaking here and there. Fun!

May I friend you? I understand you not friending me back, but I'd love to keep up with your layouts and treasure trove of info.

Thank you.
I'm going to friend you since you seem like very interesting person. I like your updates and well, you make me want to go back into anime.