anime - amatsuki - smile - summer

Edit: norton_gale said it best, "My flist is a reading list, not a list of friends, though many of you do fit that description. So, if you ever want to stop reading my LJ, just go ahead and defriend. I may or may not keep you friended: it depends on your journal."

Yeah, that's my policy in a nutshell. For more detail, read bellow.

Why I may de-friend on LJ

[1] De-friending does not mean I hate/dislike you. 99% of the time it means I'm not reading your LJ. This may be because the majority of your lj's content consists of:
  • birthday wishes
  • memes
  • RL (for me LJ = primarily fandom)
  • fic posting or icon posting
  • a fandom I don't/no longer follow

Those are also the reasons I may spend a lot of time lurking on your lj - don't have much to contribute to the above esp if I didn't friend your lj initially for fic/icons.

It may also be 'cause we haven't been connecting much:
[2] We haven't commented on each other's ljs in a while (weeks/months)
[3] I have been skimming your posts

Whether I friend/defriend/do not friend your lj, you are always free to friend/defriend.

In many cases I may not have peeps listed as 'friends' but I still consider them to be seriously awesome.

How I use the 'friending' function on LJ
  • My flist is a reading list. I try not to keep anyone on it whose posts I end up skimming/skipping (and we don't connect via comments)
  • I will not keep you friended and filter you out because that just seems worse to me than defriending.
  • If we don't trade comments for weeks/months together, I will assume that we're skimming/skipping each others posts, are no longer connecting and may defriend.
  • If the majority of of our lj communication is spent with me commenting on your lj, I will assume you aren't all that interested in what I post and me keeping you on 'friend' status will depend on how interested I am in your lj posts.
  • If we (re)connect and I find myself reading your lj (again) in future, I will (re)friend you.


Everyone has their own way of doing things and this is mine.

Edit: On re-reading...*headdesk* Definitely suck at putting things into words :(
I don't think I've ever defriended anyone, mostly because I use filters to track wips, fandoms, RL friends, etc. Just keeping track of manga and anime updates would be too much without having filters.

I usually friend someone elses LJ initially to get access to locked posts, but many times come to enjoy the authors RL comments also.

For stuff I want to make sure to never miss, I set up tracking. I don't know how I'd keep up without the tracking function. It's the main reason I stay on LJ still and not as much on IJ (although they may have fixed their tracking/inbox function by now).

And I think your post if fine - it's good to be clear in your friending policy. I recently ran into a totally locked LJ that someone had rec'd a story for. There was no entry for me to leave a request to get access to the story, so I friended the LJ hoping to get some type of instructions/info on friending. Their profile had all types of awards, etc., but no alternate website for fics and no info there on friending either. At least she sent me a message asking about why I did it, but that was it. Never did get friended back, never did get the fic. Oh well, I guess I can live without it, but it's avoiding that type of confusion that makes your post here so valuable to everyone. It's very much appreciated.